Feel so bored. Like, I need some air, fresh air, sweet scent of the atmosphere. The one that makes me calm and forget everything that is upsetting. Really want to be loved. Really want to love myself. Want to grow selfish. Pamper me. Sleep off, eat it away... Just want to lie down, look at the sky, with earphones and a bunch of beautiful songs that make me want to stay still.
Just realised, my sentences are so small. Keeping it simple. I wish everyday was simple. But may be I wouldn't have valued it if it were...
I miss my mom. I miss my family. I miss those sick friends of mine. I miss those times where I was the 'innocent' one. Now, I am just the girl, with the past. The mistakes. No I dont think I would have done things with more of a difference if I was given a chance again. Because that was me back then! If today I am this way, it is because of what mistakes and wrong decisions I made those times.
Why am I supposed to live? What makes it interesting? My mom's misery? My dad's attention seeking nature? My brother's behaviour, where he behaves like everything is happening because of him? Me, just waiting to grow up so that I can at the very least handle my own expenses. Live my dream. Love my life! May be I wont get it so easy, and if I would, I wouldn't value it.
I love my guitar. I named it 'Melosa'. Although, I dont know if it was supposed to be a boy or a girl. But if it were a boy, I'd name it 'Rey'. Melosa means gentle or mellow, and Rey means king. Its such a pretty thing! I hope I am worth it. Love you mom for bothering about me. I wish you could be happier. U're such a beautiful human being. I love you.
Dad, you dont own her. Love doesnt give u the license to own someone, neither does marriage. Possessiveness is OWNERSHIP. And u definitely dont own her. If that is how my future husband is going to treat me. I really dont want to get married. I want, I want some good things happening, to get me strengthened, so that I dont fall off when the war's on. I want to fight. I want to win. I want to love. I want to have feelings, love, understanding. I dont want to be the 'technical' one. Who does things mechanically, and just because people are doing it. I am just me. Just want to be me. Someone who actually cares about things she cares about. If I want to learn something, I do it from its roots, otherwise the branches get too complicated. I want to keep it simple. I want to laugh when I am happy, and cry when sad. Not smile when I am desperately wanting to breakdown and trying to hide my tears.
I want my mom happy. I want dad to be normal. I want my brother happy. I want him happy. I want me to be me and show what I feel.
Just realised, my sentences are so small. Keeping it simple. I wish everyday was simple. But may be I wouldn't have valued it if it were...
I miss my mom. I miss my family. I miss those sick friends of mine. I miss those times where I was the 'innocent' one. Now, I am just the girl, with the past. The mistakes. No I dont think I would have done things with more of a difference if I was given a chance again. Because that was me back then! If today I am this way, it is because of what mistakes and wrong decisions I made those times.
Why am I supposed to live? What makes it interesting? My mom's misery? My dad's attention seeking nature? My brother's behaviour, where he behaves like everything is happening because of him? Me, just waiting to grow up so that I can at the very least handle my own expenses. Live my dream. Love my life! May be I wont get it so easy, and if I would, I wouldn't value it.
I love my guitar. I named it 'Melosa'. Although, I dont know if it was supposed to be a boy or a girl. But if it were a boy, I'd name it 'Rey'. Melosa means gentle or mellow, and Rey means king. Its such a pretty thing! I hope I am worth it. Love you mom for bothering about me. I wish you could be happier. U're such a beautiful human being. I love you.
Dad, you dont own her. Love doesnt give u the license to own someone, neither does marriage. Possessiveness is OWNERSHIP. And u definitely dont own her. If that is how my future husband is going to treat me. I really dont want to get married. I want, I want some good things happening, to get me strengthened, so that I dont fall off when the war's on. I want to fight. I want to win. I want to love. I want to have feelings, love, understanding. I dont want to be the 'technical' one. Who does things mechanically, and just because people are doing it. I am just me. Just want to be me. Someone who actually cares about things she cares about. If I want to learn something, I do it from its roots, otherwise the branches get too complicated. I want to keep it simple. I want to laugh when I am happy, and cry when sad. Not smile when I am desperately wanting to breakdown and trying to hide my tears.
I want my mom happy. I want dad to be normal. I want my brother happy. I want him happy. I want me to be me and show what I feel.
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