Escapism, the replacement.

   So! Its 5 am, good morning everyone! I figured am just not able to sleep, probably because of my addiction to a television series, that is GossipGirl. And I wish things in my life could have been a bit different. But who doesn't better stuff? I mean, if I were some person with tonnes of money, I'd still have my own set of problems and if I'd be living on the street, there would be some different troubles. But there would be times I would desperately want my life to be better than what I have in hand no matter who I am. So the best thing to do is to change things you cant accept and if you cant change just learn to live or adjust with them.
The latest stuff happening to me these days would be that I am absolutely addicted to GG and therefore having a dilemma so as to who do I really have a crush on, is it Chace Crawford or Ed Westwick. :P

Chace being the one with the serious character is a real charmer. But Ed does a fantastic job being wicked! Another movie that I saw, with Ed Westwick as the lead was Chalet Girl. Funny how both the names have 'girl' in it... May be girls are dramatic enough to be the subject of the media most of the time. Okay, so the thing is Ed is a total sweetheart in the movie and otherwise in GG he is such a villain so well, that just makes me feel so much more of a fascination towards him :D
Also I found this really awesome song that was one of the soundtracks of Chalet Girl and it made me feel all energetic by Lost Prophets, so here it is-http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUVRBovHnG0
   I realised that may be being into so much of movies or TV shows just makes me feel happier. May be I've found something far better to take support of than masochism, which is - Escapism. I guess its better to smile and think about other insignificant stuff in life than to, just beating yourself up in everything that you do. Although support is the worst thing you can get comfortable with because the best thing I've learnt in life up until now, is that you might keep wanting to have someone by your side, but you're most likely to be wanting to be alone very soon. Else that someone would themselves choose someone/something over you.

Wishes.

I wish I come across a genie that said, "your wish is my command."

Things I thought I would never ever even want, are on my firsts in my wish list. Like when I was a kid, I always wanted to be a bride, have a fairytale wedding. Have a loving husband. Have a sweet family with two lovely kids. Isn't what every girl has ever dreamt of? Well, off late, everything and absolutely everything has changed in my life. When I had such innocent dreams, I used be someone who could afford a lot of luxuries of life... Now necessities are difficult to have.
    There used to be a 'man' who promised me a lot in life. And probably it wasn't really him but those promises was what I fell for. I longed so much to have those things that when the thought of being happy was in my head, and when it turned out to be a completely opposite thing, I just felt that my heart was being ripped apart. Now, no, I dont want to be sad again, so lets focus on what things have become now or what I want from life at this day.
Well to start off, I think I've become so numb that now.

• So I would say I just dont want to be married. Its seen everywhere around how people end up when they get married, which can be, angry, tired, bored, frustrated...etc?

• I want lots of money. Like tonnes of it. I want to swim inside like uncle scrooge :D

• I want two big wardrobes. One for my clothes. One for my books. And an entire wall of stuff like 'Charlieissocoollike' :D

• I want a good phone that has a never ending balance! I desperately want to start earning. Want a house of my own, and start living on my own.

• I want tonnes of music around me... I want to lose myself in music.

• I want lots of treks and travels around the world. With lots of fun... lots of new fun people. Happiness all around! :)

• I want my real friends around me. So both sides can have fun.

• Mainly, I WANT FREEDOM! Dont just want to keep waiting, want to fly... far far away...!