So many times I describe myself as something and then I realize No! Thats not me! That is someone else. I never truly understood who or what I really am. I believe in Zodiac a lot, maybe because of too many co-incidences. Born on 9th of March, I am a Pisces. But the moon sign says am also a Capricorn. Pisces is fragile and sensitive. Capricorn is ambitious and hates failing. I think its a deadly combination.
How I like mellow music and Metal or Hard rock. They're opposite, but I love them.
Sometimes its like I am constantly on a war with my own self. The calm one, or the one who shouts and doesn't stop? The one who asks, or the one who hold's it in? A very common fight that the voices in my head have is, "No, this is the right thing. I should do this. This wont harm anyone. Maybe would harm me. But at least that is not a mistake then" when the other voice says, "What are you doing? Don't do this! You know how much you've waited for something nice to happen. Don't let this chance go."
One part of me wants to be in the crowd, laugh and dance, but the other just doesn't know how to fit in, so it wants to be alone and not make mistakes. She wants to be that person, who travels the world, lives, does. Wants to do those things that she finds so much fun, but is so afraid and doesn't know how to handle things. So she'd rather prefer being somewhere under the blanket and escape all of it. And not only escape the bad parts, but also the ones she wants to experience.
When just one thing makes her feel like another person altogether who is worth nothing, that phase lasts longer than the phase where she feels like she can conquer the world. I wouldn't categorize those voices are good and bad. They're both me. But it is definitely what I choose to give out.
That one feeling, of seeing the smile fade away from anyone's face, frightens me.
How I like mellow music and Metal or Hard rock. They're opposite, but I love them.
Sometimes its like I am constantly on a war with my own self. The calm one, or the one who shouts and doesn't stop? The one who asks, or the one who hold's it in? A very common fight that the voices in my head have is, "No, this is the right thing. I should do this. This wont harm anyone. Maybe would harm me. But at least that is not a mistake then" when the other voice says, "What are you doing? Don't do this! You know how much you've waited for something nice to happen. Don't let this chance go."
One part of me wants to be in the crowd, laugh and dance, but the other just doesn't know how to fit in, so it wants to be alone and not make mistakes. She wants to be that person, who travels the world, lives, does. Wants to do those things that she finds so much fun, but is so afraid and doesn't know how to handle things. So she'd rather prefer being somewhere under the blanket and escape all of it. And not only escape the bad parts, but also the ones she wants to experience.
When just one thing makes her feel like another person altogether who is worth nothing, that phase lasts longer than the phase where she feels like she can conquer the world. I wouldn't categorize those voices are good and bad. They're both me. But it is definitely what I choose to give out.
That one feeling, of seeing the smile fade away from anyone's face, frightens me.
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